Random Thoughts
and
Loose Missions

i am so tired of bad days... i needed him to be there tonight to talk to me.. and he wasn't... it makes me so sad...

i was just SURE he was different... i just KNEW he would always be there when i needed him... but, just like every time and every one before him.... he wasn't

he only wants me when i am smiling... he doesn't want to talk to me when i am not working on making HIM happy...

i truly do not get it... i spend 99.9% of my time with him trying to make him feel special and wanted and happy and all that stuff... so why is it so much to ask that he do the same for me the other .01% of the time?

i will never be happy i think... i have come to the conclusion that i just expect too much from others... i am looking for someone that is like me... yet not like me... how crazy does that make me sound?

i want someone who treats me like i try to treat others... like they are the only ones in the room... yet i want someone who also has his own personality and his own humor and his own life...

i am beginning to think this is all just a pipe dream

i quit...

seriously i do...