Random Thoughts
and
Loose Missions

tonight he called and it almost destroyed me

he cried... and for the first time i could actually hear the genuine sorrow in his voice... i could hear that he FINALLY understands some of what i have been trying so hard to say to him all these years... he can FINALLY see what i have been going through alone for so very, very long...

it killed me to hear him that way... i DO love him... he has been one of my best friends for an entire lifetime... i just can NOT allow myself to be that vulnerable again... i can NOT open up my heart to the chance of being destroyed yet...

so what do i do? do i walk away and preserve myself? or do i stay and preserve him again? by staying does that not mean i am once again enabling him to be dependent on me?

i am so confused...