Random Thoughts
and
Loose Missions

i have always heard that to truly love something you must be able to let go of it... you must be able to free it to the whims of the world... like a parent eventually must do with a child.

why is this so hard to do? logically i know that if i love someone and let them go their own way, then when they return to me (IF they return to me) it will be for all the right reasons... and that is the kind of love i am so desperately seeking...

i truly think i am falling in love with someone... and the odd part is it's someone i NEVER dreamed i would feel this way for... so now i have come to a turning point... part of me feels that the best course of action is to grab on, hold tight, and attempt to make him see how much i care... and how wonderful we could be together...

unfortunately, i KNOW this is NOT the proper thing to do... the RIGHT thing to do is to step back and allow him his freedom... allow him to go where he wants, see whomever he desires, and do whatever he wishes...

so i think (hard as it may be) that is what i will do... my only hope is that he will do and see all those things and people and he will miss me while he is gone... surely if i am right about this then he will one day call me and tell me that i was right all along...

please, Lord... let me not be wrong about this one..